no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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