I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You're like the curious george of whores
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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