sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
