Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Congratulations! We have a period
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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