oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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