Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
