Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize