I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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