sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
