Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
