I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
