maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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