is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just googled if crying burns calories
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
