Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
