so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
