I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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