A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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