awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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