I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
