Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
