Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
