There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
