well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
