I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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