You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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