She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
