White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
