And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Vodka?
Forever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
