Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
