I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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