Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
