I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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