You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
