Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
