she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
