You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize