Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
