I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Text me some of your sweat
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize