Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
