I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
