after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
