Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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