JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
