6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
