Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
