i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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