haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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