I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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