Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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