hotel room ftw
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
