Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
