you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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