A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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