omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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