i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
