Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
