Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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