In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
