We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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