discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
