Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
