i just google imaged poop.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize