Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
