i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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