you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize