You can't special order awesome
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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