dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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