that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
