I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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