I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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