The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
