There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
