wanna go halves on a baby?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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