Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
