I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
