Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Randomize
