she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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